some thoughts about getting engaged and enjoying your *season*

A realization that I’ve come to recently:

I am currently living in a season that I have wanted for so long. I’m engaged, planning a wedding, I’ve graduated college, and I’m “real” teacher. 

I have spent everyday of the last two years waiting for this season. Wanting this. Crying over this. Being dissatisfied with my current circumstances in pursuit of this. Wishing my life away to get to this.

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And you know what? I feel no different.

It’s easy to look towards the future and think 

“Things will be so much easier when … happens”

“Life will be better when I’m done with …”

“I will be happier when I am …”

This line of logic is so damaging in so many ways. Not only does it steal your joy and your gratitude, but it prevents you from living your days to the fullest in the season that you’re in NOW. To be completely honest, it’s somewhat selfish. By feeling this way, you assume that you could do a better job of orchestrating your life than God can. 

I will be the first one to tell you that I know how hard it is to control what you feel. However, it’s important to recognize that your feelings don’t effect the truth. You may feel dissatisfied, but that doesn’t change the truth that this season of life is just as necessary as the season you’re waiting for. You may feel like wishing your life away, but that doesn’t change the truth that as long as you are approaching your decisions prayerfully, your life is going according to God’s plan. You must recognize that His plan is the best possible route for you, no matter how you feel. 

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The main thing that has caused me to come to this epiphany is our engagement. I have wanted to get engaged for around two years, but it simply hasn’t been our time yet. I looked at everyone around me getting engaged constantly and became more and more dissatisfied and resentful.

The truth is: getting engaged didn’t change my life. It didn’t even change our relationship. Ridge and I were always planning on spending our lives together, and getting engaged only “solidified” it to the public, but not to us.

We got engaged on January 3rd. Since that day, I’ve loved him just as much as I did on January 2nd. I have been just as committed to him as I have been for the past two years of our relationship. I had developed this subconscious belief that getting engaged would solve all my problems, and life would be come so much happier, but that didn’t happen. My life is the same. My love is the same.

Sometimes those things that we anticipate for so long become idols in our hearts. We start believing that they will fill a void in our life. Almost every single time, they will fall short. Those future events that we build up so much in our hearts will not fix our life. They will not fix our sadness or sickness.

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Every single season of your life is necessary. I am not a believer that e v e r y t h i n g happens for a reason, because we live in a broken world ridden with sin, and I know that God does not work in harmony with sin. Sometimes things just happen, because we live in a sad world.

HOWEVER, every season of life is an opportunity for growth. You learn constantly. Whether you learn from good experiences or bad, you are l e a r n i n g and g r o w i n g. These two things are inevitable. You only must determine your attitude towards them.

Will you approach God with ingratitude and resentment, because you’re not “there” yet, or will you approach him with faith, thanksgiving, and with a willingness to grow?